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Information about Dehra Dun
Was by veenita dar on 01-Jun-09.
"I completely agree with your article. The common misconception amongst people I interact with (namely women colleagues from Delhi/Punjab) is that Bihar is a barbarious state and treats women badly because dowry id asked for.Dowry system in Bihar is not a secret while in most of the north Indian states is covertly practised (the people pretend to be civilized and look down on Biharis!).In Bihar where dowry is concerned a list of demands is produced before the wedding--if this does not suit the girls' family the wedding is not solemnised( this doesn't mean that there aren't families who dont take dowry). Whereas in these so-called enlightenened states the demands are made after the wedding --thus this is a case of cheating and taking advantage of an unsuspecting family. So much so that in festivals like karva-chauth (practised in the northern states) presents have to be given to the husbands mother by the daughter in law(apparently the daughter in law is so grateful that the mother in law produced a husband for her!). This is not the end--in traditional families the 'tehraveen' of the son in laws parents is funded by the girls' side! No wonder a daughter is not wanted as it entails lifelong expenses from the girls side. The Punjabis pretentend to be emancipated when they say "we dont let our girls touch the feet--as they are 'devis' on the other hand they are happy to let daughters in law touch their feet--implying other peoples daughters are not 'devis' You will see that all bride burning cases happen in Delhi and Punjab and not in Bihar. Women in the eastern states have an equal or more say in the household--you should see the respect with which the daughter in laws are treated. Once a girl is married in Bihar her husband behaves as the son of the house taking up responsibilities on his wife's behalf towards her family.While in Punjab 'sasuralwalas' bend bachwards to please the ever-so-demanding 'damad'."
